Because life isn’t always all it’s cracked up to be

I’m Jen St. Germain — I use humour to deflect deal with the challenges that life tosses my way.

I’ve published four romcoms.

Heads-up: you’ll never find these.

In fact, a crack team of hunters riding on horses, led by a pack of baying hounds on the scent couldn’t.

This is because I self-published my novels on Amazon, where books — and the delusional hope of ever selling them — go to die.

Also - I wrote my books under an assumed name.

So, if you think about it, it’s sort of like they’ve been placed in the witness protection program. No one knows for sure where they are, except me.

I’m a proud Canadian. So, if you think you see a spelling mistake in words like, honour, colour, or favour, you don’t.

We subscribe to the British language logic of “let’s add a ‘u’ to everything to make it that much harder for children to learn to spell”. (We also torture them by making them conjugate verbs in French, Canada’s other official language.)

Also, we use the Metric system. And we don’t pronounce the T in Toronto. It’s Toronno.

I only know this because Ben Affleck explained it to the hostages he was teaching to speak “Canadian” so they could be smuggled out of Iran in the movie, Argo.

I find it highly odd — and a little upsetting — that I learned this information about myself (truly - I was blindsided) from Jennifer Lopez’s ex-husband.

I, myself, am married to a wonderful, eternally patient man who is a brilliant cook and a hopeless sports fanatic. It all balances out.

We love our dog unreasonably. In return, he never listens to us.

I have a casual relationship with am addicted to chocolate.

Jen, I don’t know you from Adam. Why should I sign up for your newsletter?

That’s technically true.

However, I don’t have a pay wall.

So it’s not like I’m hiding my best stuff (except my aforementioned books that are in witness protection).

You’ll get it all, every Friday morning.

I tried to figure out the optimal time, based on different time zones. But you have to use something called Coordinated Universal Time (UTC), and it sounded a lot like math. So I gave up and chose 8 a.m.

But by the time you’ve finished reading my posts, you will:

1. Know me much better and, in spite of that, hopefully come to look forward to my humour posts.

2. Feel the muscles in your jaw slowly unclench after a long week, because you can’t laugh and frown at same time. Unless you’re a psychopath. Or the Joker.

3. Be looking frantically for the Unsubscribe button.

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