Well, that didn't work

BIG NEWS!

I changed my name.

Because if Prince, Cher, Elton John and other people — many of whom can’t even sing — did it, so can I.

To clarify: I renamed my newsletter.

Hold My Whine is now Well, That Didn’t Work.

Me, as an egg. Also, life itself, as an egg..

And if you think that the new title and the theme of this post are a clever thematic connection, you’ve clearly seen right through my thinly veiled attempt to write an entire blog post about having screwed up my original choice for my newsletter’s name.

(I’m wiping the egg off my face as I type this.)

I know what you’re going to say. “But Jen - you’ve been on Substack for FOUR WHOLE WEEKS. How will anyone ever find you now?”

No worries.

The fact of the matter is that 75% of my 12 subscribers know me in person. Or live in my actual house with me.

Plus, I’m married to one of them.

I’m fairly certain they’ll know where to hunt me up.

Also, I spam their inboxes.

I pretend it’s an accident, but then I follow up with a short quiz to see whether they’ve read my work or not.

That way I can gauge if they truly love me. Not that there’s any pressure.

Also, I know for a fact that some of them are familiar with my work because I hold them hostage on my couch while I read my latest draft aloud to them, stopping to edit as I go.

Me (not really), reading to my friend, Michelle — who isn’t really six — she’s retired. And she snorts when she laughs.

Sorry, where was I?

Oh, yes.

It was a dramatic, carefully considered change.

Meaning that one day, I realized it didn’t matter if I renamed this newsletter because no one’s hardly reading it anyway.

Did anyone hear this?

Question: If a tree falls in the forest, does anyone notice in their Substack feed?

Answer. Not likely. It’s like the Grand Canyon in here.

I can almost hear my posts echo each time I open the app in the middle of the night to see if, for the love of God, did anyone “like” my latest offering.

But Jen, you may protest. “What about your previous posts? Where will we find them if you’ve changed your newsletter’s name?”

That’s easy! The same place everybody else doesn’t find them. On my Substack website.

Did I mention I’m still hunting for subscribers in much the same way that other people spend their hard-earned money on lottery tickets, in the delusional hope that their numbers will come up.

I’m hoping for mine to come up, too.

I’d really like to hit lucky 13.

Also, I changed my logo to an egg. With a bit of damage.

Because life’s not always what it’s cracked up to be.

One minute you’re in the frying pan. The next, you’re an omelet.

No yolk.